


SpiderJam.

by Parspicle



Category: Undertale, Undertale AUs - Fandom
Genre: Bad Parenting, Double Identities, Finally!, Gen, M/M, Spiderman AU, Why do I do this to myself!, oh look they're skeletons, yep. it happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 13:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20097727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parspicle/pseuds/Parspicle
Summary: Paperjam's (adoptive) parents, Error and Ink, try to train him to control his powers while also fighting each other (unknowingly) every single day.





	SpiderJam.

Paperjam was sick of his dads’ bullshit. Like. Really, really sick of it.

For the fifth time this week, they were fighting.

However, it wasn’t like how most parents fight. Nope, not at all!

His dads? They were the two most powerful people in the city. They each didn’t know that the other _was_ the other, though. If that made sense. No, they weren’t politicians, they were…

His parents were the two spidermen of their city.

And they each didn’t know each other’s secret.

Does that make sense?

Paperjam, however, did know. And he was sick of it. He wished his parents could actually realize what was happening. It was so _obvious_. 

One parent, after fighting a battle with the other because they each couldn’t decide who should fight what, would pop into the apartment from the front door, out of breath and sweating because he was just out fighting the other. Then, a few seconds to a couple minutes later, the other would run in from the back door or somewhere else, also sweaty and out of breath.

Paperjam used to find it hilarious how they both didn’t know each other’s identities and _he_ did, but now it was just sad.

When his own powers started developing, he showed both of them, separately.

Both said not to tell the other one about it, because it wasn’t “safe” for non-supers to know.

Both said not to tell because it might help the other figure out his secret identity.

Both said they’d help him figure out their powers.

It’d been _years_. And Paperjam was sick of it.

Could they not just… recognize each others’ voices? Couldn’t they just talk to each other?!

God, what the hell were those two doing?!

Every so often, Error would pull him aside and try to get a day where they could train. Then Ink would pull him aside and try to do the same thing for the same day.

It never ended up working, really.

They’d both end up having “work emergencies”- or so they called it. They’d both claim that a case came up (for Ink, a CSI) or they’d claim they had a huge break in a story (Error, a reporter).

Oh well, whatever. It couldn’t be helped, really, so he just shrugged it off and ended up doing his art while his parents ran off.

While this was good for his art, it was NOT good for his powers, which had been getting stronger every day since he’d gotten bit. His hands started sticking to things, specifically his sketchbook and pens, and it was getting harder and harder for him to get the stickiness to stop.

Again, his parents were too busy either making out in their own room or the kitchen or fighting in front of the whole city.

Although, the fighting was really unknowingly. If they both _did_ know, they wouldn’t fight. They’d never fight at home, so if they _knew_, they probably wouldn’t fight in public. They loved each other too much to fight like that.

Or, theoretically, it _could_ make them fight at home. Even though they were both his dads, Paperjam didn’t know _what_ they’d do.

And honestly, he was scared.

What _would_ happen if they both knew? What if one knew and wouldn’t tell the other? There were too many possibilities for this.

As they were thinking, they heard a stumble coming from the next floor of their apartment studio thing. He’d never really known what to call it.

“Ow- fuck!”

He heard a crash and a fall.

He decided to go upstairs and check it out, knowing it was most likely one of his fathers.

It was.

It was Pops. Ink! The one with the lighter-toned (and slightly holographic) spider-outfit and the more graceful powers. He could turn his spiderwebs into anything and use that against his enemies. However, it would disappear in a few seconds.

Paperjam leaned against the doorway, looking at his Pops, who was still struggling to get up and change into something more reasonable to say hi to his husband and kid.

“You really should be more careful, Pops. One of these days, Dad’s gonna find out.”

“Well- you have to help me make sure he _doesn’t_ find out, right? He can’t find out, or he’s going to get hurt, okay?”

_If only he knew…_

“Okay.”

“Thank you! I knew you’d always have my back, kiddo! I promise to not tell Glitchy about your thing too.”

_As if he doesn’t already know._

“Of course.”

Ink rushed over and threw his arms around his kid. “Thank you!”

Paperjam didn’t _mind_ the short skeleton hugging them, he _was _the only person who _could_ without getting their own clothes dirty. That was… _supposedly_ part of his powers.

Error couldn’t do that. Plus, Error didn’t even _want _to touch him. Not because he was rude, it was just because he was afraid of being touched. Or touching others. He just didn’t like physical contact.

Every once in a while, though, the tallest one in their household _did_ express physical affection. Mostly by head pats.

Paperjam appreciated the efforts. It didn’t seem like it would mean much, but it meant the _world_ to Paperjam. Error gave the most effort he could, and that was all that mattered.

And it helped! It really did. Even when he messed up, his parents gave the most effort they could. And it was all that mattered to Paperjam.

And Error was proud of his kid. So was Ink. They were both proud of (both) the kid (and the superhero-in-training) they raised. They couldn’t be more proud, actually.

Almost if on queue, the front door opened. It was most likely Error.

“Shit- kid, can you?-“

“Stall? Of course.”

The parent that was still in his spidey-suit jumped into the closet while Paperjam went downstairs to say hi to his other dad.

He was in work clothes- a suit and tie that Ink would probably kill to see him in again. He smiled when he saw his kid.

“Hey, kiddo!”

“Hi, Dad.”

“How’d your day go?”

“Good. I’m guessing yours didn’t go so well?”

“What makes you say that?”

Paperjam pointed to a gash on Error’s cheek.

“That.”

“Oh- shoot. Am I bleeding?”

“Yep. Do you need an excuse for Ink?”

“Maybe? Is he home yet?”

“Yeah. Got home a couple minutes before you did.”

“Oh- I guess I didn’t see him on the road.”

Ink came down the stairs, saw Error, and ran up to him, scooping him up into an embrace.

“Error, I missed you!”

Ink’s eyes sparkled. They were filled with so much love. It was like his love for Error hadn’t faded since the day they met.

It hadn’t, really. They both still acted like they were teenagers in love. They had the best relationship of anyone Paperjam knew. If they ever had disagreements, they’d talk it out like normal adults. They wouldn’t yell at each other, and they wouldn’t

“Ink, I love you, but I wish you wouldn’t do that sometimes-“

“I know, I’m sorry, but it’s so much fun to pick you up! Plus, you look _great_ in that suit! What’s the occasion?”

“Oh, you know, just a big meeting with boring important people.”

“Oh! Sounds fun! What was it about?”

Error shrugged.

“Not much. What did my wonderful husband do today?”

“Just help solve a few cases! No big deal! Not really anything special.”

Error pulled him closer, kissing his cheek.

“I’m so proud of you.”

Ink’s eyes sparkled more as he let Error down, smiling.

“I’m proud of you, too.”

Paperjam faked gagging. Ink noticed and laughed a bit.

“Okay, I get it. We’ll stop being so lovey-dovey with you around.”

“You’ve said that like ten times this month.”

“Shit, I have?”

Both Error and his kid nodded.

“Oh, whoops…”

“It’s fine.”

“Yeah, Pops, it doesn’t matter.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Paperjam was sitting in his room, staring up at the ceiling.

What was he gonna do when he finally got out into the field? If one of them saw the other training him, it would raise questions.

_“Why are you training with _ ** _him_ ** _?!”_

_ “Are you really resorting to working with _ ** _him_ ** _?! Paperjam, he’s the bad guy!”_

Either of those could come from either dad.

Well, maybe one of them would finally connect the dots. Maybe it would _finally_ reveal what’s been happening.

Paperjam had been _trying_ to figure out how to break it to them gently. In a way that _wouldn’t_ ruin the family.

He tried to toss the book he was reading aside. It didn’t work. His hand got stuck. He looked at it, then screamed in anger.

“Damnit!”

Paperjam, trying to throw away the book again, got his hand stuck the wall. He tried to use his other hand to push off the wall, but ended up getting that one stuck, too.

Eventually, he ended up on the ceiling. Somehow.

There was a knock on the door. Something told him it was just Ink, so he called out.

“Come on in! Just, uh, close the door behind you.”

Ink opened the door, stepped in, and closed the door behind him.

“Kiddo? Where…?”

Ink looked around for a second. Then, he looked up.

“…Oh. Pfft- you okay there, Paperjam? You look like you’re stuck in a pretty _sticky_ situation!”

Paperjam glared.

“Stop making fun of me and help me down before Dad sees!”

Ink laughed, “I dunno, kid, I’m kinda _glued_ to making jokes about this!”

“Pops! Get me down!!”

“Don’t be so high and mighty, PJ!”

“Fuck off or help me down!”

Ink tried to stifle his laughter.

“Fine, fine, just calm down a bit, kiddo. Take a couple deep breaths and think about releasing. It’ll be okay!”

Paperjam tried that. He breathed, closing his eyes.

All too suddenly, he dropped to the floor. He screamed.

“Woah, okay-“ Ink rushed over and caught him before the kid hit the ground, then continued, “That was a little too close for comfort!”

“Hey, why do I keep sticking to things?”

“Well, hm,” Ink thought after letting his kid onto the floor again.

After a couple seconds of silence, Paperjam spoke up.

“Pops?”

“Oh, right! Uh, well, there’s a couple possibilities. When I first started, I stuck to a lotta things, too. I was kinda stressed, so I dunno. But, I do know one thing!”

“What?”

“Your powers are developing quite slowly, which is kinda unusual. And, because they’re developing that slowly, I’m sure you’ll be better at this than I am!”

“Really?”

“Of course! And I’ll help you through this, okay? It’s summer, so we’ll probably have more time than we do while you’re in school!”

“And you _won’t_ get interrupted?”

“Well, maybe.”

“Please, can you just let the_ other_ Spiderman take care of things for a day so you can help _me_?”

“Maybe! No promises.”

“Aw, Pops, come _on_! It’s been so long I don’t even have a _bite mark_ anymore! You have to train me _some_ time. Preferably _before_ the end of summer. Which, I hate to remind you, is coming up soon.”

“Shit, it is?”

“Yes.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll train you soon.”

“_Finally.”_

Ink’s watch beeped. It was another alert, either police work or superhero work.

“Fuck.”

“I’m really, really sorry, kiddo. I _promise_ we’ll train later, okay?”

“Fine. Whatever. Go off and save the world.”

“Hold me to that promise, okay?”

“Okay.”

Ink ran off to go save the city again as Paperjam sighed, laying down on his bed.

He’d never _actually_ get to be trained, would he?

Error knocked on Paperjam’s door, peeking in.

“Hey, kiddo, you okay?”

“Yeah. I got a little stuck. But I’m okay.”

“Oh, shoot- did anyone see you?”

“No- I got down before Pops saw me and the shades were closed.”

“That’s good, but- wait, ‘got _down_’? Did you get stuck to the ceiling?!”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. You handled it well, then! I would’ve been screaming at your age.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’ve just been handling it for a while now.”

“Right- I still need to train you how to use your powers. Well, it’s summer, right? We have time!”

“Right. But, before we do, uh, I think the _other_ Spiderman is taking care of something. Something bad.”

“Shit, really?”

“Yep! It’s on Undernet already.”

Paperjam held out his phone for Error to see the posts and headlines already out about the attack.

“Damnit! I’m really sorry, kid, I have to take care of this.”

“I know, it’s fine.”

“I’ll train you when I get back, okay?”

“Okay. Go have fun saving the world, or whatever.”


End file.
